Day 5 Embryo Transfer

Today was Day 5 egg transfer. We transferred two lovely blastocysts that were grade A. My normal doctor was out and so another Doctor, Doctor Woodruff (who did my first egg retrieval) performed this one. He did it so well and without a hitch! He told us that based on the condition of the cells he recommended transferring 1, but my husband was quick to say two and after discussing my history he was okay with it and put two in. After he did it, my nurse came in and talked to us about what to and not to do, which included the no sex or orgasm for 7 days. Then told me she was leaving the clinic on May 1st to pursue Nurse Practitioner program. I told her I'd miss her but definitely was pleased to hear she was pursuing new endeavors. I encouraged her along and she told us she was almost certain we'd have some good news with this cycle. Well, its all up to God on that. I will say that I could see a significant difference in egg quality and the stage of development. I know we changed meds just slightly, but I cannot help but think my vitamin d supplements may have helped me. One of the cells was so large and beautiful you could see the difference. They both had the cells on the edges and then the cluster in the center. The more I think the first cells did not look so good and they never told us we have grade a cells, just that they selected the best two. Made me think more how the first cycle of IVF is more trial and error. If you do not have insurance to cover it though, that can be devastating news. Luckily my husband's insurance covers it 100% for up to three cycles.We are truly blessed that way. We may have eggs to freeze. We retreived 18, 15 fertilized and have held on, we have not loss any but the doctor did say a few were not hopeful, but maybe 2 would make it to freeze. We shall see. I have to call in before day 8 to check on the pricing again. We may not be able to afford it, but I will check. I took my normal meds and inserts (prometrium) and now am ready for bed. I am full of hope of all that lies ahead. I am curious and anxious to see the path God has prepared for me. Whatever lies ahead, I know he is already there, therefore all is well. Good night:-)

Update IVF Cycle #2

Hello All! My apologies for such a long delay between this and my last post. Needless to say the test was negative after the first round and I took a break in between before starting cycle 2. I had tested everyday starting at like day 6 and up until the point my period started. I got a confirmed negative beta on day 14pt. I just went in a sulky place for a few hours, came out and took a break. My doctor was anxious to get me back in the game and even called me to discuss our game plan. That just included manipulating the drugs a bit and doing ICSI straight off instead of attempting natural fertilization again. So I begin with menopur 112 and Gonal- F 125. After day 6 I was bumped up to Menopur 187 and same level of Gonal. I triggered on day 9 with 26 follicles measured and my lead one at 22mm. I triggered with Lupron again and had the egg retrieval today. It was much like the last time however took a bit longer. First time was like 20 minutes, this time it was may double that. Same process but I was much more groggy coming out of anethesia today. It seem to take more of a toll on my that way, but I was much less nauseous than last time. I am still very sore but did not take any meds. Gassy as all get out and peed like a racehorse about every hour until about 4pm. I staggered in on my husband's arm and went straight to bed leaving him to deal with the girls pick up, dinner and baths. he did an excellent job as always that way, but still needs to work on appropriately handling his emotions during the process of IVF when fear takes hold of him. So 18 eggs were retrieved this time and they will call me tomorrow to let me know how things are going. My doctor came in to say that they may only transfer 1 egg and he'll put down 1-2. I think he did it to get a rise out of my husband who was adamant about two eggs last time and still is. So we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Praying for a positive outcome but as always this is in God's hands and not anything for me to stress over. I cannot wait to hear how the embies are doing tomorrow. Finger's crossed! My expected transfer date is this coming Monday! Until then...

9DPET

I am 9 days post transfer and have been testing consistently since 6 days post...all negative. A las, I am losing hope. I am still doing the meds and trying to stay hopeful. I've had some chats with God about this as well. I know that we cannot count anything out until Beta and until God says its done. Still those negative tests are just too much. I have one left. Not going to test tomorrow if I can resist the urge. LOL! How am I feeling, tired..just tired.

Day 8 - Embryo Freezing

Got the call today that none of my embies made it to freeze. All 6 'arrested' on Day 6 and were disarded on day 7, so there is nothing to freeze. I prayed that God would not leave it to me to decide which embies would be frozen and later discarded. I thank him for answering prayers. I am moving along and believing that this pregnancy is God's will and that our twins will arrive in the Fall of this year. Thank God for my two girls to keep me busy otherwise I know I'd be consumed with this. Despite the fact that I got 1500IU of HCG on retreival day, I will still test on the 13th. I read that 1000IUs leave the system each day. I had Egg retrieval on 1/31/15 so that stuff should be long gone. I tested on day two and got a negative, so I am trusting that all that HCG is gone and when I test on the 13th that positive will be confirmation. I am feeling pretty good, just tired of the endometrium inserts and estrogen pills. I have very vivid dreams at night and last night did not get enough sleep. So it will be early to bed tonight.

1DPET (1 Day Post Egg Transfer)

Finally able to take a moment to update on the transfer details. Day 4 was uneventful for us because we did not get any news on the embryos. According to my nurse they do not bother the embryos the day before transfer to allow them to thrive. We were scheduled for transfer at 9AM and we were supposed to arrive at 8:30 however, due to getting the girls to school and daycare and traffic then the parking situation at the doctor's office, I got in about 8:50am. I erroneously thought the transfer was at 9:30 and that my husband and I would spend that time convincing the doctor to transfer 2 eggs instead of one but when I got there they escorted me to the back, put my footies and wristband on and then sent me in to the transfer room. My husband had to put the headcaps on his big feet. LOL! The doctor came in and told us that the best two eggs were being selected and that the others were still developing and if they made it to day 8 they would be frozen. We were so shocked when he said two eggs, but he said based on the issues we came across with the need to do RICSI and my age, he'd be transferring two. Yippee. So they confirmed everything again and I layed back to receive the eggs. My cervix was washed with a lot of fluid. The sonographer helped him guide in the cathether and we could see it all on screen. THANK GOD it did not hurt like the MOCK. I had been instructed to drink 20oz water so my bladder would be full, he said mine was not but he was still able to get in. So he got the cathether in and then yelled for the eggs to be brought in. the eggs were bought in and that inserted through the cathether, we saw two little balls go blop, blop into my uterine cavity. So amazing. They also had our embryos up on the screen while they transferred and even gave us a photo of them. Such an amazing journey. We were told no sex or orgasm for 7 days, no strenuous exercise but that I did not have to go on bed rest like they used to do years back. I could resume my normal day with the the aforementioned restrictions. We laid there for 5 minutes and then I got up, cleaned up, got dressed and I came home while my hubbie went to work. I had heaviness in the lower abdominal area yesterday but today it has subsided. I have to continue taking the endometrium and estradiol and wait until the 18th of this month to do the blood pregnancy test. If I do a home pregnancy test it will be positive anyway since I got 1500IU of HCG when they did egg retrieval. This is going to be a LONG wait. But we are prayerful for our twins to implant and thrive. Oh they did assisted hatching on the eggs due to the zona pellucida issue they found during fertilization attempt. The doctor however said that the issue is not necessarily with my eggs. He said it can be that the zona pellucida is harder than normal OR that the sperm have an issue with the enzyme they are supposed to release to make the zona pellucida penetratable. I had mentioned this to my husband before but hearing it from the doctor made it sink in for him. Either way it does not matter. God blessed us with a two egg transfer. All praises!!!

The Comeback Kid

We are moving forward with transfer on Day 5 even though my eggs were not fertilized on retrieval day. I spoke to my nurse yesterday and she told me that they did RICSI on my eggs. Rescue ICSI where they inject the sperm after attempting fertlization. Why did I take away from my phone call with the Doctor that they just put more sperm in the dish and they were able to penetrate the egg. But anywho. On Monday when my nurse called she said 5 of the 10 eggs fertilized. Today she called to say that we had a come back kid who looked as though it had not fertilized, but now had 2 or 4 cells. So we have 6 in total with two leading with 8 cells. Transfer day is Thursday at 9:30am. This is going to be exciting. So 6 embryos going, after 20 considered, 18 retrieved, 10 mature, non fertilized on day 1, rescue ICSI, 5 fertilized and then an additional one fertilized. Wonder what God has in store now, because this is definitely not something for me to try and wing and drive on my own. This is a matter of LIFE AND DEATH. Truly something ONLY GOD should determine. I am encouraged.

Egg Retrieval and Day 1 Post Egg Retrieval (Very Long)

Today is day 1 post egg retrieval. I was too tired and sick to post yesterday at all. We went in at 11am to get the process going. I was not really nervous but my hubbie obviously was since he was in a horrible mood. It started with the fact that he had to provide a specimen and we normally do that via collection condom (intercourse) but not this time. He had to do it the old fashioned way and wanted my 'help' which I could not give since I was getting the kids ready for breakfast and the day with a sitter. In reality, I did not want to help. After over 30 days or hormones from birth control to lupron, I was in no mood. I told him I was busy and I had done it all up to this point so it was up to him to do his part. As normal he was sulky and when it came time to leave he told me he did not have a specimen. I had no response. When we got to the doctors and into the back I was told to undress but keep on bra and put on my robe. My husband was escorted to collect his specimen and verbalized his disgust for all of it calling it 'bullshit'. Not one word from me. I know him well enough to know when fear and panic are creeping in, he acts like a kid who is unable to control his emotions. I kept quiet less I go in a rage like he knows I can and bust him in the back of the head. Now I know more sensitive readers reading this will have their mouths on the floor, but its okay. AFter 13 years with this man, I know him well and I thank God that he has come into my life to keep me calmer than the early years. But that is a story for another day. My husband left, the doctor who would do the egg retrieval came by and introduce himself and then left. The anesthesiologist came and talked to me about allergies etc, had me sign some stuff and did an awesome job giving me an IV. He gave me some numbing meds with a small needle prior to putting the huge one in. Did not feel a thing! I was happy to get saline because I feared I would be dehydrated after not being about to have liqiuds. The OR nurse was in and out going over paperwork and everything else. Finally it was time to go in and the anesthesiologist came and walked me in. There were 2 ladies in the OR, whom I greeted and then joked about the tiny table I was going to lay on. The table had stirrups to hold my legs up and I saw a few of the tools that would be used for the procedure. I sat down and a nurse named Mika came in. The anesthesiologist cracked some light jokes with her (I think to distract me). She asked my name and DOB and the next thing I know I was being woken up. I was back in the recovery area and My husband was sitting beside the bed and I came too very groggily. A new nurse was with me, she was very pretty. She talked and then left, came back and said lets take a stroll. I went to the bathroom because it felt like my bladder was going to burst. Thank GOD I have had 3 abdominal surgeries and knew how to handle the pain I felt while trying to urinate. But over the years I have learned to pray through the initial pain of the urine coming down then exiting. I was bleeding and I felt like a piece of crap yal! I got back to the bed ate two crackers and some water. Water...I had not had a drop of anything since 11:40pm the night before. The nurse told us they retrieved 15 eggs. I had projected 15-18, I had 20 that were under consideration but thought the smaller ones would catch up but the ones that were already 20+ would be overripe. I thought those were great numbers and so eventually we got dressed and left. My husband said I was in the back for about 15 minutes and back out. He was surprised how quick it was. I could tell from his demeanor that he was scared. He was much more calm and attentive after I woke up. We walked out and then headed to get my meds. Oh! I did feel pain so I took two doses of whatever they gave me via IV, then the nurse gave me a vicodin for the road. Once we got in the car and moving I felt nauseous. We dropped off my prescription and my husband did not want to go home until it was filled because that meant he'd have to leave me with the kids alone. I just lay back in my seat as he went to get me some soup and some food for our kids. Food...oh my goodness, it made me nauseated to smell it and I had him put it in the back inside a shopping bag. Every bump...OUCH! Finally he was getting me some soup and kept checking on me while we waited. I had him drive with the windows down in 30 degree weather, but when he came to check on me the third time, I was puking my guts out. Well this scared the crap out of my husband, but I felt TONS better after that. He wanted to get me home immediately, but I convinced him to go back and check on the meds. We finally got them and went home. I kissed my kids and went straight to bed while my hubbie fed them and entertained and released the sitter. I slept for a bit and my oldest child woke me up to report daddy and the little one were sleeping but she could not sleep (because daddy was snoring). I thank God my daughter came up there, she is 5 but asked if she could get me something. I sent for water and an orange. She delivered, then got in bed with me and I cut on some cartoons while we chatted. Not much later my little 2 year old and daddy came up to check on me. I was feeling better just bloated as ever and of course in pain. My hubbie got my soup and crackers and a seltzer water and I took a vicodin. An hour or so later I got up and was moving around. Amen. I was still hurting but thats to be expected, but no more nausea. I knew it was best to get up or get to sore and be a mess. Today I am TONS better just sore in that area, still bloated and yes constipated. I have been doing colonic massage that I found on youtube for relief and it is working. Again having had 3 abdominal surgeries I know how to handle this. We got the call from the lab at 11am today. that was early since I was told they would call after noon. 10 eggs were mature out of the 18 but none of them fertilized. They had placed the sperm in the media with the eggs to allow natural fertilization to occur. My hubbies sperm penetrated the first layer of the egg (zona radiata), but could not penetrate the second layer (zona pellucida). They had attempted refertilization by placing more of my hubbie's sperm in the dish with the eggs, they all fertilized. I have to wait for an update to see who is still going on tomorrow. The doctor thought I would be devastated but the biologist in me was just smiling. I have thought about this process for years and had concluded one of two things that my zona pellucida was harder than usual and the sperm could not get in or that the egg would lose energy and not be able to successfully double in cells. To hear him say what I was thinking was total confirmation and now my unexplained infertility is explained. What a relief. Now to see what happens. Tougher Zona Pellucida makes it harder for the egg to hatch. not sure if I will need assisted hatching or not, but we will see. 10 fertilized, maybe 4 or 5 will make it to day 5. Which I am okay with because I do not want a surplus of leftover eggs. I pray that this IVF is successful and that there are no blastocysts leftover. I just have a hard time with discarding them when they may just thrive and live if placed in the right environment. So until tomorrow when we learn how may eggs are still thriving.

Pre Egg Retrieval Day

I have made it thus far. I took my Lupron trigger at 12:30am this morning and went in for BW only to test LH and some other level. My nurse said the trigger was successful and the numbers has 'skyrocketed'. So we are on track for retrieval tomorrow. WOW! I am about to do a full cycle of IVF...but right now I feel like crap. I got this massive headache today around lunch time and with that came some nausea. Even now I am not quite my best. I was very hungry today with specific cravings. I came home and made chicken and broccoli alfredo (alfredo sauce from scratch and quite tasty). I just ate and now the sick feeling. I think its the increased level of drugs or maybe withdrawal from the 10 days of gonalF and menopur. at any rate, I am excited about tomorrow. The biologist in me is so anxious to learn how my eggs perform in the dish. looks like 18-20 to retrieve so maybe 9-10 fertilize, and 4-5 make it to day 5. Call me crazy but my hope is 2 to transfer and possibly take. I don't want all these frozen blastocysts because I will not use them all unless the IVF is unsuccessful. My option is none frozen but a new round of meds if this fails. I am leaning that way. After this cycle, I need a break though, so lets pray for success. I am off to research now. Baby dust to all!

Trigger Night!

Went in for the usual US/BW and now have 20 follicles measured and estrogen levels upwards of 2000. I can do the lupron trigger tonight and egg retrieval on Saturday. WOW! We are moving right along now. I am so happy! NO MORE SHOTS!!!

Day 9 US/BW

I did not ovulate as I speculated. I did some reading after logging off and found that the increased estrogen levels can make the body feel like its ovulating and produce the egg white cervical mucous that I saw last night. I am really runny down there. Hope that's not TMI because this whole blog is that. The doctor's say no unprotected sex until after embryo transfer and my poor hubbie has to wear condoms. We both hate those, but oh well. Today I made it in for the BW and U/S. Glad I actually missed yesterday because they would have just old me to come back again anyway. I have 4 mature eggs and then 14 trailing ones that they think may mature. 18 total today. 10 on the left and 8 on the right. The left made a major comeback because it has about 4 last U/S but after upping the menopur to triple the dose they starting growing. So I had to do one more night of gonal and menopur. The nurse believes I will trigger tomorrow night. So prayerfully two more shots and I am done. I do have to go in tomorrow for BW and U/S. Also my estrogen levels are in the 1000s now. Last time it was 400 and I thought that was good. Not sure what all the numbers mean but its okay. I do know I have a follicle that is 24, 23, 22, 21, 18 and some that are 14 and 15 mm. After much reading I found that quality over quantity is what is important. I read women with 40 eggs retrieved only to have 2 or 3 make it to day 5. Wow. Not sure how I feel about this survival of the fittest and day 3 versus day 5 or 6 transfer but one that I did learn is that until the egg hatches, it cannot implant. As I think of the fertilized eggs in the dish dying off, I struggle...I pray. God lead me. I believe in life at conception and I have a lot more research to do before I can truly be sure what we are going to do. I have two babies and am not looking to have 3 or 4 in the future. So this is going to be a well prayed over decision. I've asked God to lead us and I know he will not fail. My tummy area is sore from all the shots and they are all subcutaneous. I cannot imagine the pain of butt shots that I've red about. Day 9 and about 20 - 23 shots in. I am ready to tap out. My mood is swinging, not terribly, but somewhat. So I am happy when this is done and praying for success on the first round. Tip - If you have an ovary that likes to hid, try dropping your butt a bit farther off the table during the transvaginal US and pressing on that side. Worked like a charm for me. Normally my left ovary hides way 'over there' as the sono tech put it. When I went in previously, I went farther off the table than I normally do and the tech was able to find my left ovary easily. Its never been that easy. Today I shared that info with the sono tech as she hunted for the ovary. Dipped down a bit lower and BAM. It was crystal clear on the screen and had 10 follicles! I am going to try this for my future paps. I have a high, tilted cervix and trying to visualize that sucker can make me feel like I've been rammed through.

Missed US/BW Today

We had inclement weather today and so I missed my scheduled US and BW. Made another appt. for tomorrow but I am anxious to see what has happened. I felt like I was ovulating earlier and then when I went to the rest room I had the stretchy mucous that is evidence of ovulation to me. Oh boy! As always God is running this so I just turn it right on over to him. Tired of mixing my menopur and taking the shots. Alas. No time for complaining though.

Ganirelix Injections

I had my US/BW yesterday and my estrogen is 417 now. Last check it was in the 100s. I was told to start ganirelix. I took a dose yesterday along with my regular dose of Gonal and then a triple does of menopur. Menopur is the one that burns when I inject it so I was not looking forward that, but I had to add more saline to it so that helped. I do less saline which is definitely why the burn is more than most would experience. I feel like a pro now mixing meds and injecting LOL! My husband, who is afraid of needles, always acts like he is going to help and appears just after I've given myself the last needle. I just thank GOD that none are intramuscular. OUCH! So this morning I was late taking the ganirelix. I was supposed to take it between 6-9am. As I was making my appointment for tomorrow I realized, I had not. its noon. Hopefully I have not screwed myself by being late. So far I am okay. I am sleepy, but its because its so wet and snowy and I stayed up late last night. I was having some mood swings from emotional near crying, to anger all within an 1 hour span. But I had to talk myself down. I have small kids and they don't understand that mess. So I put on my happy face and kept it moving. All in all its okay. I thank God that I am so busy with family that I don't have time to focus on every little detail. Egg retrieval was tentatively slated for the 31st. Not sure how we are keeping up with that. But oh I forgot, the US tech said I had 5-6 eggs that were mentionable. I don't even know where I should be right now, but I know by increasing the menopur, they are trying to increase my number of mature eggs. 6 ripe, maybe 3 will be retrieved and one make it to day 5. That's how it normally works, half of whats retrieved is fertilized, half of what fertilizes makes it to day 5. Honestly, I don't want a ton of eggs. Two good ones is my goal. Chat soon.

IVF Shots - Night 3

Phew! Night 3 of shots is over. I go in tomorrow for BW/US to see how things look and they'll tell me what to do from there. Day 3 I was a bit emotional and cranky. But its subsided. The menopur shot seems to burn a bit, but nothing unbearable. I was feeling a bit of heaviness in my ovaries last night. I could tell they were stimulated. It felt a lot like ovulation and when I ovulate it can be pretty painful. I was going to take some meds but it subsided. All in all not to shabby.

Menopur and Gonal - Night 1

First night of shots. Not to shabby although the menopur seems to burn or itch or something at the injection site. Maybe its because I put the needle in and then took it out because I remembered I only need 37.5 or half of the dose. Gonal is 112.5. I watched some youtubes and was able to get it all done. I realized that the pharmacy that works with my fertility clinic gave me enough meds for all 3 of my eligible via insurance IVFs. I have a huge bag full of stuff and was so overwhelmed thinking I had to take them all for the one cycle. We are so blessed that our IUIs and 3 IVFs are covered by insurance at 100%. Thank Jesus! As I was mixing my doses and taking them, my two little girls were in the living room screaming to the top their lungs, laughing and playing. A bit earlier in the evening, the whole while I was detangling and blowing out my oldest girls hair, the younger one terrorized us. I sat there praying for that little boy...no more heads to style please God. My oldest girls hair is almost waist length. I laughed and said these kids are going to be the death and life of me, after the youngest pulled the oldest to the floor and she hit her mouth on the floor but yelled 'I am fine Mommie, I did not knock my teeth out'. And I thought but here I am mixing and injecting trying to have yet more children. Am I crazy? Well maybe a little. But aren't we all.

IVF

Its been over 7 years since I started this journey to motherhood. I am back again after trying for the past two years to conceive our third child. I told my husband that he had until I turned 38 to make it happen. We tried, but nothing happened. Now after two failed IUI's we are moving on to IVF. I am a bit horrified to say the least. Back when we were trying for baby #1 we were planning to do IVF and then by the grace of God got pregnant naturally. Baby #2 came naturally as well. Now we are back at the drawing board (so to speak). I start Gonal and Menopur tomorrow. This after my 19 days of birth control pills, bloodwork and a mock IUI from hell. When I went in for my mock, my friggin cervix was so high that I thought the doctor may just push through me to get access. He even thought we may be unable to do the mock. But after my silent prayers and his persistence it happened, went well and I was moved on. I was very sore and bleeding after the mock. Ouch! I pray the live transfer is not like that. So as I proceed. I will OF COURSE need to come pour my thoughts out. Bear with me and feel free to comment. Thanks and God bless.