Okay, Day 4 or 5...I am just over Aunt Flo and ready to go. I didn't have much time to reflect on the unsuccessfulness of this last cycle. I was soooooooooooo caught up with family stuff this weekend that I did not even have time to think. So I decided that I am going on once more with the CBE monitor and preseed. One of my cousin (in-laws) who has 4 kids suggested that I take Geritol. Oh so many suggestions! She is the same cousin who verbally attacked my husband about why he had not gotten me pregnant yet. LOL!!! That was last year some time. She gently bought the subject up this time and I lied and told her we'd moved on to other projects since this one took too long. She then said 'well don't try fertility drugs because you'll have five kids and you'll be crying. It will be a happy event, but you'll be in tears'. My husband and I just looked at each other because we have the inside scoop. We've done 3 medicated IUIs with no success, so no five babies for us.
There was a little 4 month old at a family function and I could not take my eyes off him. His mom was so in love and you could see it all over her. I held him once, but not that long. It hit me how much I REALLY want a baby. But I sucked it up quickly when it looked like my eyes were welling up with tears and I vowed to just hold on. I know our time is coming soon. I can feel it, so I just have to be patient.
On our drive home my hubbie said 'we need to just go ahead and get started with the IVF'. It broke my heart just because I know how much he wants more children and I do NOT want to do IVF. I kept quiet though and silently said a quick prayer to my Father. I know our time is coming, its within our reach we just gotta hold on!
Baby dust to all! We can do this, just hold on.
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5 comments:
Love the title :o)
If you don't mind me asking-- why don't you want to do IVF?
From my observations it seems many couples would have benefitted from going straight to IVF instead of numerous rounds of IUIs. Sadly, the insurance situation--in the US-- mandating several IUIs before moving on to IVF, I think contribute to lost time, stress, & great anxiety.
I guess my point is that so many couples would have had their good news a lot sooner (IMO time is not the IFs friend) had they been able to go straight with the procedure that would have yielded the best result initially.
I wish for you only the best and the only possible positive outcome with whatever option you choose to go with.
My very best
*hugs*
Anna.
Thanks for visiting my blog. I cannot even imagine your husband's face when you pushed the TV off the stand. Must have been priceless.
I'm about a month behind you I think. We're going for our 3rd IUI this cycle. We have a consultation with the dr. to discuss next steps - either drugs + or IVF. I want to hear the pros and cons, but the longer I've been on this journey, the more open I am to IVF. But it does feel like the end of the road in some senses.
I had a friend tell me to get pregnant at the same time as someone else - kind alike your cousins' suggestion not to take fertility drugs. Ha ha. If only, right?
**BIG HUGS**
Anna,
I just am so emotionally drained behind the IUIs that failed. My insurance requires that we do 3 IUIs before they will pay for IVF. There are just no guarantees and I don't know if I can handle the heartbreak of doing the IVF and it not working, only to be stuck in another cycle of trying and trying and until all the embies are used up. Or maybe I am afraid to know what might happen with the IVF or what we may find. I don't know. I keep thinking and thinking. Its always on the table and I go back and forth with it. I've seen those who fail at the IUIs and get pregnant on the first IVF. Somehow I think I can do this on my own without medical intervention. We'll see.
The Rebound Girl
That was my point exactly--that going through 3 failed rounds of IUIs or anything for that matter is going to have an emotional toll on a person. Can drive a sane person to curse, make them more cynical about the journey, less hopeful etc. And not to mention the cost and lost time--this also could drive a person to curse.
I've seen you mention before that you think you can do it without medical intervention.
Since I assume you've been trying unsuccessfully for a while, my only advice then would be to see a OBGYN to make sure that all is currently clear--ie. tubes are not blocked, no myomas, cysts, endometriosis, etc. and that your DH's S.A. is good.
This way, you won't have to keep trying only to discover down the road that something was overlooked.
Anyway, I'm sure you've done all of the above and I'm just preaching to the choir.
So I hope you are correct and can get 'knocked-up' without the doc.
Best of luck to you.
Anna.
Moving on to IVF is a hard decision. Don't push yourself into it if you aren't ready. Everything will fall into place in it's own time.
Hugs.
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