Four women who've gotten pregnant since I said I wanted a baby. One lady had her second son, the next planned for baby and got pregnant with her second little girl, the third got married, decided to have a baby and was pregnant on her first try, now the fourth is pregnant after saying she was too selfish to have a baby right now, trying for 4 months and getting pregnant with her first child. I am still sitting here, not pregnant. How frustrating is that? How unfair!
Each time we announce whose pregnant next, I have to suck it up and cheer for the newly pregnant mom. All the while I am dying inside, infertility hurts, it sucks its a pain in the ass. Trying to conceive is an obsession and its ruling my entire life. All my plans seem to revolve around getting pregnant and planning for a baby.
I still feel very naseaus but testing is probably a waste of my time and this is all in my head. I am normally asleep by now so it could be some night time side effects from the prometrium or all the crap I ate today.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Prometrium
Oh how I hate those little yellow bullets. I have to insert them vaginally twice daily. I did it perfectly the first IUI, the second one I stopped when I got a negative on day 12, this time I only inserted once daily for a few days and then started twice daily.
Those things give me some of the worst side effects ever. Swollen breasts, dark areolas, heaviness and bloating, and the list goes on and on and on.
They are supposed to help baby implant and promote implantation so I guess its best to grin and bear it.
Those things give me some of the worst side effects ever. Swollen breasts, dark areolas, heaviness and bloating, and the list goes on and on and on.
They are supposed to help baby implant and promote implantation so I guess its best to grin and bear it.
11dpiui
This had been the longest 2 week wait ever. I cannot believe it is only day 11. I picked up a 5 pack of digital clearblue easy pregnancy tests today at walmart. I am testing tomorrow with my first urine and hoping and praying for my positive.
I am a member of a baby board and right now for the month of June we have about 42 women in the two week wait. 10 of those have gotten their positives and 12 a negative. I am hoping I'll be a positive this month. After almost 3 years of trying to concieve and 3 IUI's I just feel like I've proven how bad I want this and I deserve it.
I feel sort of queasy tonight, but I don't want to put place to much thought in it. It could be the friggin prometrium side effects or anything other than pregnancy. The heaviness I feel in my lower abdomen is probably something else. Arghhhhh! The frustration.
I am a member of a baby board and right now for the month of June we have about 42 women in the two week wait. 10 of those have gotten their positives and 12 a negative. I am hoping I'll be a positive this month. After almost 3 years of trying to concieve and 3 IUI's I just feel like I've proven how bad I want this and I deserve it.
I feel sort of queasy tonight, but I don't want to put place to much thought in it. It could be the friggin prometrium side effects or anything other than pregnancy. The heaviness I feel in my lower abdomen is probably something else. Arghhhhh! The frustration.
Bravelle and Ovidrel
Neither of these really seem to bother me at all. Once I learned how to reconstitute the Bravelle it was smooth sailing. The Bravelle can burn a bit, but after a while it was fine. I had my husband do the shots the first time around, but the Ovidrel shot made him a bit queasy because of the way it went in my skin. I learned to just do it myself and that made things easier for me.
Each time I'd trigger with the Ovidrel, I knew I ovulated because I could feel the effects. It is amazing all that modern science can do.
Each time I'd trigger with the Ovidrel, I knew I ovulated because I could feel the effects. It is amazing all that modern science can do.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Low Dose Clomid Side Effects
HOT FLASHES!
The first time I took the clomid I got extreme hot flashes and lower abdominal pain. I had a heaviness the whole time along with a low grade headache. I would be at work cutting my heater on and off and taking my sweater off and on. At night the covers would fly everywhere. Craziness!
Second cycle no abdominal heaviness and little to no flashes.
Third cycle, a few hot flashes, no abdominal heaviness and blurred vision.
Clomid can do it to you and I wonder why I keep going back..but then again I know why. I want a baby!
The first time I took the clomid I got extreme hot flashes and lower abdominal pain. I had a heaviness the whole time along with a low grade headache. I would be at work cutting my heater on and off and taking my sweater off and on. At night the covers would fly everywhere. Craziness!
Second cycle no abdominal heaviness and little to no flashes.
Third cycle, a few hot flashes, no abdominal heaviness and blurred vision.
Clomid can do it to you and I wonder why I keep going back..but then again I know why. I want a baby!
My regimen
My doctor prescribed low dose clomid days 3-5, bravelle and ovidrel trigger.
The first cycle I fluffed my bravelle dosage and only took half and only produced one mature follicle.
My husband gave 13 million.
The second cycle I got it right but used a bit too much saline the first time around and got 3 mature follicles. I did low dose clomid, 75 IU bravelle on day 7 and then 150 IU on day 9, then trigger.
My husband gave 15 million
The third time I did the same dosage, but correctly and got 2 mature follicles.
My husband gave 14 million.
Wonder if we got the twins this time?
The first cycle I fluffed my bravelle dosage and only took half and only produced one mature follicle.
My husband gave 13 million.
The second cycle I got it right but used a bit too much saline the first time around and got 3 mature follicles. I did low dose clomid, 75 IU bravelle on day 7 and then 150 IU on day 9, then trigger.
My husband gave 15 million
The third time I did the same dosage, but correctly and got 2 mature follicles.
My husband gave 14 million.
Wonder if we got the twins this time?
2ww
I need to jump ahead and bit as I am in the 2WW for my third IUI. This is a bit easier because I've done it two times already. I did not take the recommended dose of prometrium this time. That stuff made my boobs so sore last cycle I thought they'd fall off. Tonight I will up the dosage and take as recommended, twice daily. I am having light cramping all day, but am not reading anything into it because it can mean anything. I am 6dpiui and will test on Father's Day. I really want to be able to give my husband a Father's Day gift from me for our children. He does have two children already, but we'll get into that later.
The IUI went off without a hitch on Monday. Although, my husband and I got into it that morning as he appeared he did not want to give the sample. I was disgusted and said 'Its okay, we'll sit this cycle out because I am not dealing with this' and I meant it. He mobbed around all morning up until the last second. But we rescheduled for later and got it done. This time he did not come with me, which was fine and I got up after the five minutes and went back to work. Something I've not done before. I also jumped him the night after IUI because I got the egg white cervical mucus which means I was ovulating. I am hoping of the 15 million sperm they 'shot in' me, one fertilizes one of the two eggs I hopefully released.
I always have to wonder, why me? Why am I infertile and why can't I give my husband a child like he wants. This is the first, time he's asked me for something that I cannot deliver, literally. Even our dog is pregnant on her first try and due to deliver in a few days. Even she has done something I can't. WTF!
Today was one our friends daughter's b-day party but I was not invited. I guess they knew it'd be too painful for me to see all the pregnant women and ones with kids and me there, not being able to conceive or have a child of my own. My DSD comes in July and I am mentally preparing myself for that. God help me.
The IUI went off without a hitch on Monday. Although, my husband and I got into it that morning as he appeared he did not want to give the sample. I was disgusted and said 'Its okay, we'll sit this cycle out because I am not dealing with this' and I meant it. He mobbed around all morning up until the last second. But we rescheduled for later and got it done. This time he did not come with me, which was fine and I got up after the five minutes and went back to work. Something I've not done before. I also jumped him the night after IUI because I got the egg white cervical mucus which means I was ovulating. I am hoping of the 15 million sperm they 'shot in' me, one fertilizes one of the two eggs I hopefully released.
I always have to wonder, why me? Why am I infertile and why can't I give my husband a child like he wants. This is the first, time he's asked me for something that I cannot deliver, literally. Even our dog is pregnant on her first try and due to deliver in a few days. Even she has done something I can't. WTF!
Today was one our friends daughter's b-day party but I was not invited. I guess they knew it'd be too painful for me to see all the pregnant women and ones with kids and me there, not being able to conceive or have a child of my own. My DSD comes in July and I am mentally preparing myself for that. God help me.
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